It’s going to be two months now and I have finally understood that I will carry your loss in my heart, my thoughts and my conversations...for the rest of my life.
Memories: Of the special way you said my name on the phone, the joy and pleasure coming through in your voice. Of how you would make my favorite dishes each time I visited
Regrets: Of not telling you enough how much you meant to me. Of not saying I love you as many times as I should have. Of saying too many “You did not” and too few “You did”. Of not being able to break into the inner shell you retreated into recently. Of the hug that I did not give in my hurry to leave on that cold January morning, little knowing I would never see you again.
Anger: At life, for dealing you a lousy pack of cards – you deserved better, Mama. You fought long, you fought hard, you played by the rules. But by leaving so quickly and unexpectedly, you hoodwinked us all.
To quote one of your your favorite songs - Yeh duniya agar mil bhi jaaye to kya ho. I hope you are in a happy place, Mama.